When Kindness is Misunderstood. (1 Chronicles 19)

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Episode Notes: When Kindness is Misunderstood. (1 Chronicles 19)

Someone once said that no good deed will go unpunished. 

 The concept dates back to the 12th century in Walter Map’s ‘De Nugis Curialium’. This early usage reflects a cynical view of morality, contrasting with conventional wisdom that good deeds are rewarded and evil deeds punished, as expressed by Thomas Aquinas in Summa Theologica 

 That’s clearly somewhat sceptical, but there are times when you do something right, and it's misunderstood as being something wrong.

 Have you ever had that happen to you? Well, today I want to tell you a story about somebody in the Bible who had that happen to them and what he did about it.

So, hopefully we can learn from this about how we are to respond, maybe not just in that situation, but generally… 

Transcript

When Kindness is Misunderstood. (1 Chronicles 19)

Transcript:

Someone once said that no good deed will go unpunished. 

The concept dates back to the 12th century in Walter Map’s ‘De Nugis Curialium’, where a character named Eudo was said to have “left no good deed unpunished, no bad one unrewarded” 

This early usage reflects a cynical view of morality, contrasting with conventional wisdom that good deeds are rewarded and evil deeds punished, as expressed by Thomas Aquinas in Summa Theologica 

That’s clearly somewhat sceptical, but there are times when you do something right, and it's misunderstood as being something wrong.

Have you ever had that happen to you? I haven't had it very much, but 

I have had it happen.

When that happens, what should you do? 

Well, today I want to tell you a story about somebody in the Bible who had that happen to them and what he did about it.

Now, this is perhaps not a common experience, but it does happen. 

So, hopefully we can learn from this about how we are to respond, maybe not just in that situation, but generally… 

Today’s story takes us into 1 Chronicles chapter 19, a passage that begins with kindness… and ends in conflict. It’s an important reminder that even when we act with good intentions, sometimes people will misunderstand us, and sometimes that misunderstanding can escalate into something far bigger than we ever imagined.

Let’s begin in verse 1.

“It happened after this that Nahash, king of the people of Ammon, died, and his son reigned in his place.”

Nahash, king of Ammon, had a complicated history with Israel. He fought against Saul in 1 Samuel 11, but evidently he had shown some kindness to David during Saul’s reign. We don’t know what he did, but David remembered it.

Which is why David says, ‘I will show kindness to Hanun the son of Nahash, because his father showed kindness to me.’” (v2)

This is David’s compassion. He sends messengers to comfort Hanun, the new king, after the death of his father. David is doing a good deed, an act of royal courtesy, an act of neighbourly kindness, an act of covenantal diplomacy.

And this is important because kindness is part of the character of God’s king.

The Old Testament scholar Derek Kidner notes that David’s gesture reflects “the generosity of a man secure in God’s favour,” a king who understands that kindness is not weakness but strength.

But kindness is not always received as kindness because sometimes good intentions can be misread.

“The princes of the people of Ammon said to Hanun, ‘Do you really think David honours your father? Have not his servants come to search, overthrow, and spy out the land?’” (v 3)

Hanun’s advisors sow suspicion. They assume the worst, and they interpret kindness as espionage.

This is a timeless human problem: When someone is anxious, fearful, or just insecure, kindness can look like manipulation.

As theologian Walter Brueggemann observes, “Fear distorts perception, and distorted perception leads to distorted action.” That is exactly what happens here.

“Therefore, Hanun took David’s servants, shaved them, cut off their garments at the buttocks, and sent them away.” (v 4)

This is not a prank or a joke; this is a public humiliation, a deliberate act of cruelty.

In the ancient Near East, shaving a man’s beard was one of the deepest insults imaginable. It attacked his dignity, his identity, and his honour. Cutting their garments at the waist exposed them and shamed them publicly.

Old Testament scholar John Walton explains that in the ancient world, “Honour was a social currency; to strip a man of honour was to strip him of power.” Hanun’s act is not merely rude; it is an act of war.

Verse 5:

“When they told David, he sent to meet them, because the men were greatly ashamed. And the king said, ‘Stay at Jericho until your beards have grown, and then return.’”

So, David protects them and shields them from further shame. He sends them to Jericho — a border city — so they don’t have to walk through Jerusalem humiliated.

This is David’s compassion again. He honours the dishonoured, and he restores dignity to the shamed.

It’s worth noting that Jesus does the same in the New Testament, restoring dignity to someone with leprosy, the outcast, even the woman caught in adultery, or the man born blind. God’s king always restores what cruelty tries to destroy.

Kindness Misunderstood Leads to Conflict

“When the people of Ammon saw that they had made themselves repulsive to David.” (v 6)

The Hebrew word for " repulsive means “to stink,” “to become odious.” They realized they had made themselves offensive, so they panicked.

“…Hanun and the people of Ammon sent a thousand talents of silver to hire chariots and horsemen from Mesopotamia, from Syria, and from Zobah.”

They hire mercenaries, a massive army, using an enormous sum of money. One thousand talents of silver is roughly 37 tons. This is not a small reaction. This is a full‑scale mobilization.

And here’s the irony: 

David offered kindness. Hanun responded with cruelty.

Cruelty produced fear. Fear produced war.

As Old Testament scholar Gordon Wenham writes, “Sin escalates; suspicion becomes hostility, and hostility becomes violence.” That is the pattern of 1 Chronicles 19.

The Chronicler’s account differs slightly from 2 Samuel 10, but only in emphasis. Chronicles often highlights theological themes rather than military details. Samuel gives the price paid; Chronicles gives the geography. But together they form a fuller picture.

Transition:

So, in this first part of the chapter, we’ve seen:

David’s compassion

Hanun’s cruelty

A humiliation that ignites a war

And all of it begins with a simple truth:

Kindness is powerful, but kindness can also be misunderstood.

In the next segment, we’ll see how this misunderstanding erupts into a battle that reveals something insightful about God’s protection, David’s leadership, and the nature of spiritual conflict.

All right — let’s pick up the story in verse 7. 

The Ammonites have humiliated David’s ambassadors, and now they realize they’ve made themselves odious in David’s sight. So, what do they do? They prepare for war.

“So, they hired for themselves thirty‑two thousand chariots, with the king of Maacah and his people. And the people of Ammon gathered together from their cities and came to battle.”

This is no small mobilization. Thirty‑two thousand chariots, plus the king of Maacah and his forces, plus the Ammonite army itself. They are gathering troops from every direction. What began as a simple act of compassion from David has now escalated into a full‑scale military crisis.

The Chronicler tells us the total chariot force was 32,000, while the author of 2 Samuel 10 reports that the number of infantry was 33,000. These are complementary details. One writer counts chariots; the other counts foot soldiers. Together they give us the full picture.

Verse 8:

“Now when David heard of it, he sent Joab and all the army of mighty men.”

Joab — David’s seasoned commander leads Israel’s elite warriors. 

The Ammonites come out and arrange themselves in battle formation at the gate of their capital city, while the hired kings and mercenaries take their positions in the open field. (v 9)

Again, this account mirrors 2 Samuel’s account almost exactly. The Ammonites guard the city; the Syrians and other hired forces spread out in the field. This means Joab must defeat the mercenaries before he can even reach the Ammonites.

Verse 10:

“When Joab saw that the battle line was against him before and behind, he chose some of Israel’s best and put them in battle array against the Syrians.”

Joab is surrounded, enemies in front, enemies behind. So, he divides the army into two units:

Joab leads one force against the Syrians, and his brother Abishai leads the other against the Ammonites.

Verse 11:

“The rest of the people he put under the command of Abishai his brother; and they set themselves in battle array against the people of Ammon.”

This is classic battlefield strategy: divide and reinforce. But Joab adds something deeper.

Verse 12-13

“Be of good courage, and let us be strong for our people and for the cities of our God. And may the Lord do what is good in His sight.”

This is one of the most important statements in the chapter. Because we can see that Joab’s courage is not rooted in military confidence; it is rooted in the sovereignty of God.

Old Testament scholar Dale Ralph Davis writes, “Joab’s theology is simple but profound: we fight bravely, but Yahweh decides the outcome.” That is exactly what Joab says: “Let us be strong… and may the Lord do what is good in His sight.”

This is faith under pressure.

This is courage rooted in trust.

This is leadership shaped by theology.

Verse 14:

“So, Joab and the people who were with him drew near for the battle against the Syrians, and they fled before him.”

The mercenaries — the very ones hired at enormous cost flee at the first clash.

Verse 15:

“When the people of Ammon saw that the Syrians were fleeing, they also fled before Abishai and entered the city. So Joab went to Jerusalem.”

The Ammonites lose heart. Their hired help collapses, and they retreat into their city. Joab returns to Jerusalem victorious.

What an extraordinary turn of events.

The army hired to defeat David collapses.

The Ammonites lose courage.

The battle ends almost as quickly as it began.

But that’s only the first conflict.

 The Second Conflict — Reinforcements from Beyond the River arrive.

Verse 16:

“Now when the Syrians saw that they had been defeated by Israel, they sent messengers and brought the Syrians who were beyond the River; and Shophach the commander of Hadadezer’s army went before them.”

The Syrians are humiliated, so they call for reinforcements from “beyond the river,” meaning the Euphrates. They gather relatives, allies, and additional troops. They want revenge. They want redemption. They want to erase the shame of defeat.

Verse 17:

“When it was told David, he gathered all Israel, crossed the Jordan, and came upon them and set in battle array against them.”

David himself now leads the army. He recognizes the danger, takes the initiative, and he crosses the Jordan and confronts the Syrians head‑on.

This is decisive leadership. This is the king doing what God called him to do.

Verse 18:

“Then the Syrians fled before Israel, and David killed seven thousand charioteers and forty-thousand-foot soldiers of the Syrians, and killed Shophach the commander of the army.”

David wins.

Israel triumphs.

The Syrians collapse.

Their commander is killed.

Their army is shattered.

Verse 19:

“And when the servants of Hadadezer saw that they were defeated by Israel, they made peace with David and became his servants. So the Syrians were not willing to help the people of Ammon anymore.”

The proud Syrians, the ones who came to avenge their honour, now become David’s servants. They submit. They surrender. They abandon the Ammonites.

Old Testament scholar Andrew Hill writes, “The defeat of the Syrians marks a turning point: David’s supremacy is recognized, and the coalition against him collapses.”

And that is the end of the story.

Transition:

So, in this second segment, we’ve seen:

A massive military mobilization

Joab’s courageous faith

A battle won through God’s intervention

A second battle that ends in total victory

The collapse of the Ammonite‑Syrian alliance

And all of it began with a simple act of kindness — misunderstood, twisted, and escalated into war.

In the final segment, we’ll explore the spiritual lessons that I believe this chapter teaches us about God’s sovereignty, human responsibility, the cost of suspicion, and the unexpected ways God uses our obedience.

That was a short and simple story, but it carries a profound message. So, what’s the point? And what’s the profit for us today?

The summary is straightforward:

A gesture of kindness turned into a war… and that war ended in victory.

I began this episode with the old saying, “No good deed goes unpunished.” And in this case, David tried to do a good deed; he tried to show kindness, and the result was catastrophe. His compassion was misunderstood, twisted, and weaponized. It ended in humiliation, suspicion, and ultimately war.

But what do we learn from this?

Let me suggest something:

David and his men had no control over how their kindness was interpreted. They had no control over the reaction. They had no control over the escalation. But in the midst of the conflict, and in the midst of the misunderstanding, they trusted the Lord.

And the Lord gave them victory.

Old Testament scholar Dale Ralph Davis puts it beautifully: “Faith does not guarantee ease, but it does guarantee God’s presence in the trouble.”

That’s exactly what we see here.

David’s kindness was misunderstood, but David’s God was not absent, and God turned misunderstanding into victory.

So, when your kindness is misunderstood, and when your motives are questioned — when your good intentions are twisted — trust the Lord. 

The New Testament calls these moments trials (James 1:2–4; 1 Peter 1:6–7; Romans 5:3–5). And Scripture teaches that if you trust God in those trials, He can work them for your good.

Paul says in Romans 8:28:

“All things work together for good to those who love God.”

Even misunderstandings.

Even misinterpretations.

Even humiliations.

Even conflicts you never asked for.

Kindness should be seen as a Christian Habit.

When I worked through the parallel passage a few months back in 2 Samuel 10, I concluded with a practical challenge: Be kind. No matter what happens, no matter how people respond, no matter how it’s interpreted — be kind.

Kindness is not optional for the believer.

Kindness is commanded.

Paul writes:

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

(Ephesians 4:32)

Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit:

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness…”

(Galatians 5:22)

Kindness is part of the character of God Himself:

“His kindness leads us to repentance.”

(Romans 2:4)

So, I thought, “What are some practical ways to show kindness?”

I had a few ideas — but then I decided to Google it. And here’s what I found.

One website listed five simple ways to show kindness:

·         Smile

·         Compliment a stranger

·         Keep in touch with friends

·         Pick up trash

·         Be positive on social media

Another listed nine ways:

·         Say hello to a stranger

·         Pay for the coffee of the person behind you

·         Leave a sweet note for someone you love

·         Let another driver merge into your lane — with a smile

·         Pass along a book you enjoyed

·         Bring a meal to a new parent

·         Give praise whenever possible

·         Always support a local fundraiser.

·         Create a care package for someone under the weather

Another site listed ten ways to show kindness during emergencies:

·         Join someone’s support network

·         Care for yourself in small ways

·         Volunteer responsibly

·         Donate wisely

·         Shop responsibly

·         Help others in need

·         Feed your neighbours

·         Listen with compassion

·         Give a caregiver a break

·         Learn a new skill and share it

And then I found lists with 20 ways, 25 ways, 40 ways, ways, and even 99 and even a 100 ways to show kindness.

The point is this…. Be kind as a habit, even if it’s misunderstood.

Because kindness is never wasted.

Kindness is never lost.

And kindness is never forgotten by God.

And sometimes, as in David’s case, kindness is misunderstood and becomes the very stage on which God displays His power, His protection, and His victory.

OUTRO:

So, as we close today’s episode, let me leave you with this encouragement:

Be kind.  

Be kind as a habit.

Be kind even when it’s misunderstood.

Be kind even when it’s inconvenient.

Be kind even when it costs you something.

Because kindness is never wasted in the kingdom of God.

David’s kindness was misunderstood — mocked even — but God was still at work. And when the situation spiralled beyond David’s control, God stepped in, God preserved him, and God turned misunderstanding into victory.

The New Testament tells us the same truth:

“Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.”

(James 1:2–3)

“After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace… will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”

(1 Peter 5:10)

Misunderstanding is a trial.

Suspicion is a trial.

Being misread is a trial.

But if you trust the Lord in those moments, He can use them just as He used David’s to shape you, strengthen you, and even bless you.

So, today’s takeaway is simple:

Do what God has called you to do.

Do it faithfully.

Do it kindly.

And trust Him with the outcome.

And now, before we go,  let me invite you back for tomorrow’s episode.

Because 1 Chronicles chapter 20 continues this story. It shows us what happens after the misunderstanding, after the conflict, after the victory. It reveals how God continues to work through David’s leadership, how battles unfold, and how God’s purposes move forward even in seasons of pressure and warfare.

Chapter 19 teaches us how to respond when kindness is misunderstood. Chapter 20 teaches us how to stand firm when the battle continues.

So, join me tomorrow as we step into the next chapter of the journey and discover even more of what God wants to teach us through the life of David.

Until then, walk kindly, trust deeply, and remember:

The Lord can turn misunderstanding into blessing, and He can turn your faithfulness today into fruit you may not see until tomorrow.